I had to pop over to Geneva to present the Lotus strategy to a large company in the Aerospace industry today. They were a very good group who ooohed and ahhed in all the right places and more importantly laughed at my jokes. As is the case with most business day trips, I just got to see two airports and a conference room. But even so, I was really surprised that you can get from London to Switzerland in just over an hour. Pretty much the same amount of time that it would have taken me to fly to Manchester. I was lucky enough to get bumped up to Business Class. It's always nice to be in the pointly end of the plane but I wish it could have been for a longer flight, business class is pretty much wasted on such a short flight and even being in the Club Class lounge is a hollow experience when you can't thrash the free booze because you have to drive home from the airport. And why do they think piping birdsong into the lounge will relax you? I find it very irritating.
The one advantage of being in Club Class was that we got a proper meal with proper metal cutlery. The chicken salad we had was very nice except for one howling error. Lurking beneath the kos lettuce and tomatoes was ... Pineapple. What! I'm no food prude and I have even been known to toss the occasional slice of pineapple on a gammon steak when I want a bit of 70's nostalgia but there is no excuse for polluting a perfectly good chicken salad with tropical fruit. It reminds me of when Ben had a royal rant about lettuce in all day breakfast sandwiches . "Why", he not unreasonably opined, "Does anybody in the world have lettuce for breakfast?".
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It can get far worse than a harmless chunk of pineapple or a limp scrap of lettuce. I went to a briefing a couple of weeks ago (I think I lived on buffet lunches that week) and in EVERY sandwich was either a slice of onion or pepper. As everyone knows, both of these are poisonous. The only thing that renders an onion edible is to soak it in vinegar for seveal months and then serve it from a jar. Peppers on the other hand are highly toxic in any form and should banished from the face of the Earth. Nature makes them in those bright colours to warn us not to eat them.
Another thing that annoys me about buffets (or almost any catering occasion) is that orange is ALWAYS served. Orange juice is disgusting, and it also shows a lack of imagination. Why not pineapple juice? I like a bit of pineapple ;o)
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