Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The evils of the modern world (part 1)

As regular readers of this web log will realise, I'm quite an easy going chap. There aren't that many things that vex me. In fact foolish people have sometimes confused my near refusal to become annoyed with apathy. But read on in this occasianal new series of rants where I unleash the full power of my fury.

First up - hotel Toilet Paper. I stay in hotels all the time as I wander the globe telling people about IBM's brilliant software from Lotus. Sometimes they are simple Holiday Inn Express's like the one I stayed in last night in the Middlands, and sometimes they are dead posh like The Hotel Versailles that I stayed in a few years ago. But they all have one thing in common. Terrible toilet paper. It is normally so thin it is virtully transparent and as course as sand paper. You need half the roll per wipe to ensure *ahem* cleaning takes place. Then they have the nerve to fold the end of the roll into a point to show what a classy establishment you are staying in. Now when I am paying over a hundred pounds a night I would have thought that they could have invested in some nice quilted loo roll rather than the hessian sacking they always cheaply supply.

When I remember I pop a roll of Andrex Aloe Vera in my suitcase if I know I'm staying at a hotel since at my stage of life I think I deserve something a bit more comfortable on the ol' Botswana.


Anonymous said...

You're your mother's son!!

Anonymous said...

And a TRUE twin!

Try the disintigrating rubbish in hotels on the med... I'm off on 'oliday this week, so that'll be a maxi pack in my luggage no matter what restrictions may be in place!! It only took one occasion in a Spanish hotel of gesticulating and grunting for Stewart and I to learn the important things in 'oliday language... and to shop sensibly abroad.
1. 'Botswana' accoutraments.
2. Wine.
3. More 'Botswana' accoutraments.
4. More wine.
5. BBQ food!!
7. EVEN more 'Botswana' accoutraments.
6. Oh yes and shoes and handbags naturally.