Ports Thoughts

I like a nice cup of Joe . I particularly like a nice cup of coffee when I'm on a long drive to visit a customer and I want to ensure that I'm as alert as possible since falling asleep at the week can cause all sorts of complications ranging from carnage to a long term in prison for dangerous driving. Clearly best avoided. However, there is a catch. My car is magnificent in many respects but it does have a serious lack of cup holders. Specifically it doesn't have any. So when I get a cup of coffee from a Motorway service station I have to get a lid sealing in the contents so that it won't spill when I leverage the warp like acceleration. So good so far. Unfortunately I like my brew black so it doesn't benefit from the cooling power of milk. When such a super heated liquid is then placed in a partially sealed container, it maintains it's heat. All of this leads to the actual problem. Take away cups are designed to feel cool so that we don't burn our fingers. ...

As regular readers of this web log will realise, I'm quite an easy going chap. There aren't that many things that vex me. In fact foolish people have sometimes confused my near refusal to become annoyed with apathy. But read on in this occasianal new series of rants where I unleash the full power of my fury. First up - hotel Toilet Paper. I stay in hotels all the time as I wander the globe telling people about IBM's brilliant software from Lotus. Sometimes they are simple Holiday Inn Express's like the one I stayed in last night in the Middlands, and sometimes they are dead posh like The Hotel Versailles that I stayed in a few years ago. But they all have one thing in common. Terrible toilet paper. It is normally so thin it is virtully transparent and as course as sand paper. You need half the roll per wipe to ensure *ahem* cleaning takes place. Then they have the nerve to fold the end of the roll into a point to show what a classy establishment you are staying in. Now...

If funny pictures of cats in headphones amuse you then you will love this site. Record Store Cats I'm particularly tickled by Techno Tim and Hardcore Steve

Ali and I had been planning to visit Stonehenge this holiday but due to one thing and another, just didn't get round to it. So today was our last chance. As luck would have it Southern England was being drenched with monsoon like rain so it seemed like our visit was going to be a wash out. However, with stereotypical British optimism we decided to drive down to Wiltshire anyway and hope for the best. It rained hard all the way and by the time we were within a couple of miles of the Henge we were stuck in nose to tail traffic on the A303. Everything was beginning to look a bit bleak. However, just as we parked up the sun suddenly popped out! As can be seen from the menacing dark cloud in this photo - we really were in a small window of dry snugly niceness amidst horrible weather. Stonehenge is spectacular and English Heritage have done a brilliant job of compromising access with preservation. I have read loads of whining monkeys complaining that you can't touch the stones any m...

My frolleague Kieran sent this round. I don't normally repost jokes but I thought this was particularly well done.

Today is Ali and my 10th Anniversary of being together and 3rd Wedding Anniversary. I ain't no mug, I ensured we got married on the anniversary of us stepping out together so that I wouldn't have another date to remember. Ali got me a big book about Doctor Who . Not very romantic but waaay cool. It's called Doctor Who: The Legend Continues and covers all the Doctors and his assistants from William Hartnell to Christopher Eccelscake. Well played The Missus. For my part I'm taking her to a top Barnes restaurant for some top scoff and fine wines. My Mum and Dad very generously sent us a card and attached a few pennies with the strict instructions that they were to be spent on a "Nice Plant". So still being on holiday today, we took a turn round the local garden centre. This is the fine article (together with pot) that we came up with. I've no idea what it is but it looks nice as instructed. Thanks Mum and Dad xx.

Because I work for a software company and am a bit of a geek I install software programs a lot. In fact pretty much every day I will be installing a new build of Lotus Notes or trying out some obscure utility or program. However the arrival of my new Thinkpad has caused me to install or reinstall loads of stuff. Because we live in a world of many languages most software will give you the opportunity to specify which one you want to use. Brilliant. Sometimes they even go to the trouble of specifying different national variation in a language so for example you might be able to choose between French (Fr) for the French or French (Cn) for the French Canadians. Vive la Difference. But what makes me incandescent with rage is when the default language specified is English (US) but there are no other English options. This occurs in way too many programs. The above example is from the evil iTunes. Now don't get me wrong, I have no objection to there being a US version of English. I hav...

So I got an eMail yesterday saying that my new Thinkpad was ready for collection. One of the nice things about working for IBM is that they keep us Techies on the latest versions of hardware. Of course I'm just starting a fortnights holiday so should have ignored the mail. Yeah right! Knowing my excellent Thinkpad T40 was going to be augmented by a new T60p was too much for my geekyness to resist. My wife Ali would quite rightly have no truck with me spending a day of our holiday going to the IBM Warwick office to pick up my new hardware. But there is no way I could wait. So a cunning plan was required. How about a cultural visit to Warwick Castle. To be specific this is 1.3 miles away from the IBM offices. The perfect Geek crime :-) Since I'm using the castle as subterfuge it make sense to take a nice photo of Ali next to a cool tower. Here I am in the "Portscullis". Oh suit your self :-( ROCK THE THINKPAD! Of course this is what it is all about. Watch that data move...

Nope - I'm not talking about the guy from Baywatch who used to have a car called Kitt. The Hasselback is a way of preparing a potato. Witness the majesty. Until last weekend I hadn't even heard of this magnificent roast spud. My mate Si told me how to do it. Just to take you through the details, here we see the bottom, then the top and finally the a side view. The secret of this top tuber is that the top is sliced through to about 2/3 of the depth of the potato. And that is pretty much it. Drizzle melted butter on them to ensure that they are crispy perfection after about 70 minutes at gas mark 7. Why are they better than "ordinary" roasters? Firstly because they are much crunchier and yet still as creamy in the middle. And secondly because they are a little bit different. Some over the top chefs recommend that you should use Parmesan cheese for the last few minutes - but I think that is bonkers if you are having roast beef or chicken! Just slice and roast. Oh, and be...

Whenever Ali is driving her red VW Polo too fast I cry "Easy Jensen!" to remind her that she isn't a Formula One driver and she isn't driving in a Grand Prix. Not very original or particularly funny but it makes me chuckle. However, unlike previous British F1 drivers like Lantern jawed David Coulthard and miserable excuse monkey Damon Hill, Jensen had never actually won a race. I haven't been following F1 too closely this season because very often Ali and I are out on a Sunday, so I often just catch the highlights (with the obvious exception of my trip to the 2006 British Grand Prix ). However, Yesterday Ali had popped over to see her Dad and I was at a bit of a lose end so I popped the TV on to find it was the beginning of the Hungarian GP. I had not heard any of the lead up so was very depressed to find out that Jensen was starting 14th after losing 10 places for changing his engine. I almost turned off then thinking there wasn't much interest for me if Mr B...

Well actually - Happy Birthday to Barney and Boo. It really doesn't seem like 10 months since the little fellas joined our family. Today is their 1st birthday. The main change is that they are no longer little and cute like they were in October... They are large and cute (and lazy)... Over the last year Boo, despite being about half Barneys size, has shown himself to be top cat. He wears the furry trousers in that relationship. Boo is also by far the most adventurous. He is always the first one to climb a tree, catch an insect or jump on Ali or I for a cuddle. Barney just trundles on behind looking handsome. We have decided that Tabby is the precise cat equivalence to Blonde. Anyway - happy birthday boys. No more kitten food for you.